We don’t want what we don’t work for, what we don’t earn or think we worked to deserve or what doesn’t run the opposite direction away from us. No, we want what we can’t have until we have it and then it becomes meaningless. Cheap. Of no value.

It hurts when you feel unwanted, especially in the aftermath of giving way to one who wanted you first. You feel like a possession – a car that was awesome until the red bow was unwrapped and then the new wore off. The excitement ends and the shiny paint just doesn’t shine like it once did. Before you know it we’re on the internet looking to trade in the old for something new. Never satisfied. Never. In the category of heart matters and love in particular, it’s puzzling to me how we would rather have a counterfeit – would rather chase after what doesn’t accept us or want us, rather than return love to the one who loves us just as we are – the one we don’t have to fight for or try to be something we aren’t to impress.

I see both sides because I have a corrupted human heart too. But as my heart has refined, my love has changed. I yearned for something new… something real. Sadly, my understanding of the way the game of love works lured me into a game I no longer wanted to play – no longer can play.

The world rejected Christ – he was the FREE GIFT from God, who loved the world so much he gave his son. The world rejects love. I suddenly see the meaning in his words “The world will hate you because it hated me first.” If you love someone and you give your heart wanting nothing in return other than for them to love you back – no motives, no desire to use them for anything they can give you.. you just love them right here, right now as they are.. I guess you become that FREE gift that the world throws in the trash.

The condition of the human heart is to desire to be under the law – to work for what it receives rather than to receive was is given freely by Christ…. LOVE.

Tonight I understand how he felt – looking at us with such admiration and compassion – his masterpiece of everything his eyes call perfect and loving us with all of his heart. We don’t have to work for him or earn him he just loves us as we are… But we don’t want that, do we….? We want to love our effort that we put forth in order to gain stuff. “Look what I worked for and earned with my talents.” From material things to titles and success… to a woman called a “trophy piece” wrapped around a man’s arm. We want the stuff that isn’t real and doesn’t last. We want the counterfeit – the fake love, and hate the true love that comes to us freely without condition or price.

True love is a jealous love and it hurts and it burns with desire for the one it loses.

“He leaves the 99 to go after the 1”

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