We don’t want what we don’t work for, what we don’t earn or think we worked to deserve or what doesn’t run the opposite direction away from us. No, we want what we can’t have until we have it and then it becomes meaningless. Cheap. Of no value. It hurts when you feel unwanted, especially […]
My heart is broken for my children and even myself today, realizing how focus on the temporary things that have been destroyed and yet linger still creates a type of hell on earth that the mind really can’t heal from – can’t comprehend…. not in the natural at least. I’ve never really been able to […]
Can I truly grasp the words of Jesus as he prepared to leave the earth and delivered a message to his disciples so that they wouldn’t be alarmed or caught off guard by the way the world would feel about them? And can I love anyway when I’m faced with this hatred that Christ speaks […]
Have you ever felt like if you put someone in your little box you could be the one to save them? I have and I’ve tried it and failed miserably. The crazy thing about seeing the brokenness in another person and setting out to help that person heal from brokenness is that it usually ends […]
Today was hard. Getting Josh in the car was much more difficult than I’d hoped. His dad came along to help. It was the first time, I’d had anyone go with me on a Josh appointment. And even though in the past, I’d managed (solely by the Grace of God) to get him to and […]
It’s no accident I think, that I had no desire to bear a child. In my own selfishness, I didn’t want to be responsible for another’s life – and whole heartedly believed that God planting a seed of life in me, would be the biggest mistake ever. I didn’t know anything about babies, and I […]
Last night as I was studying Ecclesiastics, the Lord told me “Read like you’re the only one on Earth”… I felt a sense of shame come over me in realizing that I often make decisions in my mind about which verses are about me and which ones are describing others. Then today, I was reminded […]
Only the Lord knows the heaviness on my heart this week and the deception within myself that has come to surface. I don’t try to hang out in a place of “pretend” but still often find that reality is much worse than I would like to believe. If this is vague, it’s meant to be. […]
A few months ago, I went on a Christian television talk show and was interviewed about the book, “Father Please Let Him Live.” The question was asked of me, “Why were you so focused on Josh living?” And you know, I struggled to answer it. There was an evident switch in my answers from spiritual […]
I fail at so many things. I look at all the masks that I wear from moment to moment. Being a wife, a mother, a business professional and my heart’s desire to be a child of God – there’s a heaviness that seems to always hover above the juggling act of all these roles – […]