There is a place where time stands still. There are no elements of heat or cold.. There is no fear or worry.. no sadness or complaint.. no hurt.. no pain.. no heartbreak. This place doesn’t have necessity and the fleshly requirements are no more – no labor to breathe, no need to talk, there’s no hunger or thirst. There’s no want… for anything.
The Holy Spirit asked me today, “What are you asking for?”… and it hit me like a ton of bricks: the loss that I truly feel deep in my heart is a separation from the little taste that I’ve had of this place. When we pray we ask and when I ask I follow suit to so many things, all in pursuit of this day and the one that follows. I grasp time as a solution when time is only a barrier set in motion because God is long-suffering for us.
We pray for healing – sometimes we get it; sometimes we don’t but even if we do get it, it’s temporary because we will face sickness and pain again. These bodies are not eternal and the flesh is made to eventually give out. We pray for money, but no matter how much we have, that need and that want will never end because there’s always another bill, another need and another desire for more “stuff” – a constant garbage disposal seeking and destroying and seeking more and even if we were to gain the whole world, we would still be empty and wanting of more. We pray for love but the love of this world leads to hurt and heartbreak – even the rare lasting kind is a roller coaster ride of happiness and tears filled with stress and worry. The love of this world hurts and it’s attached to fear – so many nights I’ve prayed for my husband and my children to be kept safe.. to never leave me.. and that viscous circle of want leads me right back to the beginning, staring at the inevitable truth… that nothing here is permanent or guaranteed. I see mothers burying their children and my heart weeps for them. I see wives burying their husbands and children burying their parents and the unbelieving world says, “Where is GOD in this tragedy and in this pain?” And even though we all know the truth – that tomorrow is never promised and that life is so short, we stand on the sidelines, somehow telling ourselves that we will be an exception to this rule. That somehow our joy and our hopes and our wants will manifest into a picture perfect journey in a place that Jesus said we don’t belong to.
I’ve caught just a small glimpse of that place… and I never wanted that moment to end. It’s more beautiful than my daughter’s smile, more satisfying than diving into crisp water on a hot summer day, more exhilarating than a racing heart at the sight of first love and more full-filling than all my dreams over the course of all my moments in thought of every need and desire I’ve ever had in this life, times infinity. There’s nothing like it.
Jesus is that place. And it has absolutely nothing to do with his stuff and it has nothing to do with this world. It’s like another realm of existence – foreign to the senses of these earthly bodies. Stepping into that place is instant and eternal joy – nothing to ever need, worry about or want for ever again. He is our portion – the fullness of our joy. IN HIM … it’s not an idea or a fairy-tale.. it’s really a place un-found and foreign to this world.
Thank you Lord for showing me this and reminding me of my heart’s desire and the meaning of HOME. While I can’t say that I understand the fullness of it and I don’t know when I’ll see it again… I will do my best to combat this flesh and keep my heart set on what I want more than anything.. to be IN HIM.